When I decided to put Jesus first, other people who knew me well were amazed as to how dramatically and rapidly transformation took place in my life. I came to Christ full of pain and hurt, with lots of scars and calluses on my heart and weighed down with tons of baggage from a lifetime of mental, spiritual and sexual abuse. I had several of the typical “side effects” related to those types of experiences and they had definitely taken their toll on my life. I was at the end of my rope, hanging on by threads.
The amazing thing is not so much how rapidly God healed me, (although that was truly amazing) but how complete of a work He performed in me. What had taken over 26 years to build up and take root in my heart was removed and replaced with truth, healing, power and most of all, love. Of course as a child of God, I am ever learning. As the Word says, we are being perfected daily. I am by no means saying “I’ve arrived” and have it all figured out. But what I do know is that those strongholds that had taken root in my life as a result of all the abuse were totally broken and today they have absolutely no control over me. Where there was once pain and hurt locked up inside my heart, all I see now is God’s beautiful transforming grace, love and healing power.
I often have the opportunity to speak into other women’s lives and share some of my story. While what I’ve been through and have overcome can be a source of hope and encouragement to others, everyone’s walk is different. There’s no formula that can be applied to healing. Just as the pain and hurt affects each person in a very specific way, the work of healing will also come in a unique way, tailored for each person. So aside all the practical things I can share with others, aside all reading material and Scripture I can share that have become pillars of my strength, there is one thing that I hope to impart into the lives of those I encounter, and that would be the message of total surrender.
If there is one thing that sets the stage for total, complete healing – it’s totally surrendering. When I came to Christ, I held nothing back. No compartment in my heart was off limits, regardless of how tightly locked up it was. No shame or hurt was too painful to recollect, no scar was too sensitive to touch. I gave it all to Him and was completely transparent and honest with God and with myself. This is what opened the door to healing in my life and allowed God to do such a rapid, complete and dramatic transformation in me.
To be totally surrendered to God means He has first place in our lives – every area of our lives. Anything other than that is basically asking God to share His reign in our lives with something or someone else, and that won’t work. He must be Lord of all, or else He’s quite simply not Lord at all.
It is in the place of total surrender that I came to know God in such an intimate way. It was there I came to have a relationship with Him, not just know about Him. It was there that I could start seeing how the Word of God applied to me, personally. It was (and is) a place of safety, beauty and gentleness – not like a hostile takeover. It was there that I came to know the person that had been buried deep inside for so many years – the person He created me to be. It was there that I came to know all the gifts, talents and passions He had placed in my heart that I never knew existed. It was there that I came to know Him as Father, Friend, and all-powerful God. But I would have never discovered all this without totally surrendering every single area of my life. Most often than not, our true potential is hidden in the areas that we experience the most hurt and that we most tightly lock up. Make no doubt the enemy crafts a custom-made plan to try and take us out and he goes straight for the heart of who we are every time. But if we put those areas in God’s gentle, yet powerful hands, it is then that we will discover true victory and live the life He intended us to live.
LGR
